READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
