Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
