Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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