How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
