Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
