I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
