Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
