Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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