jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We are all done wearing pants today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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