Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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