if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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