All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
