Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
