a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
