i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
