I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
