There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do herpes really smell.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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