I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
