You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
