I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
