Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
