I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
