What a fucking waste of an outfit
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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