the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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