dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
