i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
