I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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