I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How drunk are you?
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