i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
