i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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