The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
