I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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