honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
