...so i touched it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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