I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
