i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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