Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
