your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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