Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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