Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
