This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
