Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
