and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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