After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
