i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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