I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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