so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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