The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
