Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
