he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
