how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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